Monday, August 18, 2008

Simple-y Overblown

I saw Tropic Thunder this past weekend.

I found that the recent hubbub over jokes at the expense of developmentally disabled individuals is, well, retarded.

First of all, Tropic Thunder isn't even the first film starring Ben Stiller to make fun of mentally impaired persons. There's Something About Mary comes to mind as an earlier example. Remember the whole Warren, "Have you seen my baseball" shtick? That was way more exploitative.

Plus, Tropic Thunder makes fun of Hollywood's fixation with rewarding actors who play retards more than the retards themselves. Did I say retards? I meant, "mentally differently-abled." Sorry. I don't know what I was thinking.

Rather than griping with the questionable humor of Tropic Thunder, respected groups like The Arc of the United States and Seguin Services should be protesting more worthwhile offenses, such as a certain US president giving retards a bad name for nearly a decade now.

Needless to say, my favorite part of Tropic Thunder didn't involve any of the aforementioned retard-bashing, but rather, gratuitous violence towards children. Now, that's funny!

Saturday, August 9, 2008

The 2008 Olympic Opening Ceremony

If you didn't catch the opening ceremonies of the 2008 Beijing Summer Olympics than you missed a pretty impressive demonstration of what $300 million and an eagerness to impress can accomplish.

Whereas opening ceremonies of the past have generally felt histrionic and pompous, this one came off like a true wuxia epic. Fireworks, the world's largest LED screen and a cast of 22,000 performers precisely synchronized with choreography that would make a Filipino prisoner green with envy managed to impress even the most jaded of viewers (e.g., me). I especially liked the opening of the show with the 2008 Fou drummers banging away on their LED-embedded drums. The Tai Chi performance was also a highlight and a true marvel of choreography on a mass scale.

I really got to hand it to the directors of the ceremonies, famed Chinese film makers Zhang Yimou and Zhang Jigang. They may have pulled off the biggest spectacle in human history on 08/08/08 at 8pm.

And if you happen to share in the Chinese belief that the number eight is lucky, then also look out for these future lottery winners.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Random Query

Is it weird that the 2008 Chinese national basketball team has three players who are over 7 feet tall and the US team has none?

Yes. Yes, it is.

Next thing we know, a black dude will be the world's best golfer...

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Comcast Must Die!

Comcast is testing our patience.

Adrienne and I have been without cable and internet at our new place for two weeks. Comcast missed the first appointment to come set everything up because they didn't update my current phone number in their system, even though I had previously notified them three, count them, three times about the change (by phone and online). Adrienne waited all day for them to show up or call, but nothing. So of course, they had to set up another appointment --aaand it was for a full six days later.

They actually showed up for that one, but not in the original window they had given us of 11am-3pm. They showed up at 5:30pm. What the fuck? Adrienne wasted her whole day waiting for them --aaagain.

This time they hooked up the cable, but not with our full channel package (no HBO or Showtime) and they had to give us a new cable box, so we lost all the things we had recorded on our old DVR. The technician also set up the internet and assured me that their servers were currently down but that it would start working again later on last night --buuut of course, it never did.

So today, I got in touch with Comcast again (for what feels like the 30th time) and they told me that they diagnosed a non-specific(?) malfunction and would have to send out another technician --aaand that they couldn't do it until Monday from 3-5pm.

So I'm going to have to leave work early on Monday to go wait for them at home because Adrienne will be in Portland at the time. I get paid hourly, so I'm going to lose money by doing this.

Comcast is now taking food from the mouths of my imaginary children.

All I want to be able to do is watch television while concurrently surfing on the internet. It's all I ask for.

I no longer want to have to walk down the block with my laptop to use the first available unsecure wireless connection. I don't want to go down to the Edgewood Caribou Coffee and pretend to drink coffee for an hour so I can check my goddam email and the half dozen social networking sites I belong to.

I also run an online business from my home, which is kind of hard to do without the internet.

I'm seriously considering getting the Dish and DSL right about now. Just the thought of paying Comcast good money for their crappy service after all this makes me very angry.

Fuckity fuck fuck.

Friday, August 1, 2008

The Pursuit Of Normalcy

Hello all,

Lately I've been neglecting my blog worse than a Spears/Federline spawn. Luckily in my case it's not because of a genetic predisposition to infantile negligence --I've just been preoccupied.

First off, I just moved to a new apartment in the Kirkwood area and, as you can imagine, the move threw my life into a convoluted head-spin filled with boxes and packing tape for a couple of weeks. I'm just now recovering from trying to fit 1,100 sq. ft. of crap into a 850 sq. ft. place. But the apartment (technically a duplex) is shaping up quite well and I only have a couple of boxes of crap that I don't know where to cram, so it's all good. I still don't have the internet or cable because Comcast is trying to keep me from pursuing happiness, but hopefully it'll all be back to normal by next week.

Also, a day after I moved into the new place I got the pleasant surprise of a job offer at an online media measurement company called BigChampagne. Yes, I know, weird name. But they are truly on the cutting edge of media market research and I'm excited to now be a part of their company (and to get a steady paycheck again). Plus, it's located right downtown on the 22nd floor of an office building, so I get to feel like I'm a stock broker or something.

I'm sure I'll get back to blogging on a regular basis soon, so fear not, my faithful little blog-reading bunnies, I have not forsaken you.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Musings On The Dark Knight


Last night Adrienne and I went to see the midnight show of The Dark Knight. For this special occasion I donned my vintage 1989 Batman logo t-shirt (courtesy of the Dickie Magic estate), which I realize is kind of a faux pas --much like wearing a band's t-shirt to that particular band's concert-- but I didn't care much. Geek is the new cool, after all.

Sorry for the misleading blog title, but I'll spare you yet another review of the movie. You've likely already heard/read a couple of dozen reviews on every medium imaginable anyway. Hell, you've probably seen the damn movie yourself and blogged, texted, Twittered, faxed and/or telegraphed everyone you know from your fancy-panted 3G iPhone about its many virtues.

So yeah, it lived up to the hype. It was good.

So good and well received in fact, that as I type this I'm being informed that the movie took in $18.5 million just on midnight screenings alone, so I'm sure it's set to break all sorts of box office records this weekend. Something like 1,300 showings were sold out well in advance of the weekend.

But please don't tell me that The Dark Knight director Christopher Nolan is going to be busy filming yet another Batman sequel instead of finally getting back to work on his chef-d'oeuvre, Memento 2: Still Ain't Remembering Shit About Dick.

That's a sequel I've been waiting on for faaaar too long. . .

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Choke On This Trailer

Color me intrigued:



UPDATE: Well, Searchlight apparently pulled the redband trailer, so below is the crappier trailer, sans boobs and bad language (a.k.a. the fun stuff).

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Dreams Of Post-Rock All Through My Head Pt.1

I had a rather vivid dream last night about writing a blog on my favorite post-rock albums. I went as far as dreaming up most of the list, along with the layout and everything. Like I said, it was pretty vivid.

When I was woken up this morning by the telephone ringing (a wrong number; two days in a row...bastards), I took the dream as some sort of geeky omen. So here we are. Don't let anyone ever tell you that you can't achieve your dreams, no matter how mundane they happen to be. I'm living proof...

So first off, it's safe to say that the definition of what constitutes post-rock varies depending on who you ask. My idea of post-rock is music that is largely instrumental (or certainly not vocal-centric), droning and textural. Often crescendo-based, it creates soundscapes rather than prescribe to any traditional rock song structure, pulling together several different experimental sub-genres to construct its overall sound.

Keeping that criteria in mind, here's the first part of my list, in order of influence:

Slint - Spiderland (1991)

This album can be looked at as the seminal entry to the post-rock canon because it directly influenced pretty much everyone else on this list. To a certain extent, it had the same effect as The Velvet Underground's debut album had --it didn't sell well initially, but it influenced pretty much everyone who did manage to hear it to start a band.

In addition to setting the guidelines for the sound of post-rock, Slint also established the frigid, emotionless motif that often exemplifies the genre with Spiderland. The detached mannerisms that pervade this album, added to the already sparse musical landscape, created a pretty austere reality. There's a sense of gloom tied with all the imagery of Spiderland, from its cover to the music to the lyrics, that can only be compared to Black Sabbath's first album, Black Sabbath. These albums share a brooding, almost claustrophobic atmosphere that compels the listener to enter at his or her own risk.

Slint never made another album after Spiderland, but their work proved very influential, certainly earning them a spot in any hipster's Hall Of Fame.

A bit of trivia for you: Will Oldham, a.k.a. Bonnie "Prince" Billy, took the photograph that would become the album cover in the lake of an abandoned Kentucky water quarry.

Tortoise - TNT (1998)

Whereas Slint seemed to alienate listeners by limiting its appeal, Chicago's Tortoise widened the parameters of the genre by embracing a broader range of influences. Cool jazz, electronica and even bossa nova were utilized to infuse a sense of worldliness and sophistication to what appeared to be a glacial and inert asthetic.

Tortoise was the sort of group of musicians that didn't downplay its musicianship in an attempt to appear more pragmatic, instead they proved themselves to be quite studio-reliant and cerebral.

TNT is probably their most organic record, born from extended jams and strong reiterated tonal themes, it succeeds at being both intellectual and instinctive without for a moment revealing a hint of pretense.

June Of 44 - Four Great Points (1998)

There's no band that took up where Slint left off better than June Of 44. The spoken word vocals, the interplay of arpeggio-ed guitar and bass, the minimalist drums --it's the Slint formula down to a tee. They even seemed to embrace Slint's fascination with nautical themes (which is odd for two bands hailing from land-locked Kentucky).

The innovation comes with Four Great Points and the occasional introduction of strings and more diverse instrumentation in the mix. The melodious strings especially accentuate the melodies that have always been laying below the surface of post-rock, highlighting the possibilities of the genre to be more euphonic.

While more structured than Slint, June Of 44 recalled in many of us what made Slint so special in the first place.

Sigur Rós - Ágætis Byrjun (1999)

This Icelandic band is by far the most successful post-rock group of all time. And it's no wonder, they took the genre to its most melodic and symphonic heights, especially with their second album, Ágætis Byrjun (translated: A Good Start --quite an understatement).

This album might as well have been recorded in outer space, it's so foreign to anything I'd heard of until that point. The alien quality is helped by the fact that it's sung in a made up language called Vonlenska (or translated in English: Hopelandic) that lacks any sort of grammar or distinct words, instead focusing on repeated syllables and falsetto sounds that complement the music.

Ágætis Byrjun is by leaps and bounds more melodic than anything that Slint ever dreamed up but they still share a similar aesthetic in the way they forego typical rock song structures.

Lush strings swell and wail with theatrical melodramatics that have more in common with a John Williams score than your average indie rock band, but Sigur Rós never lacked in ambition and the Icelandic people recognized their merits by naming Ágætis Byrjun Iceland's Best Album of the Century.

Mogwai - My Father My King (2001)

I remember first hearing the 20+ minute track which makes up this companion disc to 2001's Rock Action on my way to school on WRVU 91.1FM, Vanderbilt University's radio station.

Even though I arrived at my destination just minutes into the epic instrumental, I sat in my car for the remainder of the song hoping that the DJ would say who it was at the end. And it just kept going and going and going. Finally, it came to an end and as a result, I went out and bought Mogwai's entire catalog up to that point (oh, and I was late for class).

The melody of the song is taken from a traditional Jewish hymnal of the same name and it slowly builds from restrained serenity to complete feedback-laden cacophony, which makes perfect sense since it was recorded by Steve Albini, who has mastered the dynamics of quiet/loud with bands like the Pixies, Nirvana, PJ Harvey and countless others (some on this list).

Although Mogwai has crafted several classic post-rock albums like 1997's Young Team, 2006's Mr. Beast and the aforementioned Rock Action, My Father My King remains my favorite release of theirs and one that I keep revisiting for its sheer dramatic potency.


Stay tuned for Part 2 of the list, coming soon....

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