The Walking Dead Goes Twee

The show might attract a more squeamish audience with posters like this.

It's downright dainty.

Like the velveteen touch of a dandy fop...

[kolbisneat]

This Is Below Even Me. Yet, Here We Are...

This animated GIF should be in the GIF Hall of Fame.

The BAZOOKALUCA PODCAST: Episode 1

IT'S FINALLY HERE!!


In the first episode, Kyle and I talk about the premiere of The Walking Dead, using the word "torso" more often than any drunken, late-night conversation you're likely to have heard. And later on in the podcast, I introduce danger to the art of music criticism in the segment "Stunt Critique" when I take on Interpol's latest album while, well, you'll see.

I'm working on getting this on iTunes, so if you don't want to listen to it here and would rather upload it to your device of choice, please be patient and pray that Steve Jobs moves me to the top of his priority list now that the Beatles are checked off. I'll post the link when it goes live.

Also, make sure to subscribe, comment, and tell your friends! A positive iTunes review would do me good. And please report any audio issues or complaints, I'm still learning how to do this properly.

Thanks and enjoy!

Music Video Cliché Theatre, Volume II: In A White Room

David Bowie - "Life On Mars"


Ted Leo and the Pharmacists - "The Mighty Sparrow"


Coldplay - "In My Place"


Snoop Dogg f. Pharrell- "Drop It Like It's Hot"


PJ Harvey - "This Is Love"


The Mighty Mighty Bosstones - "The Impression That I Get"


Jet - "Are You Gonna Be My Girl"


Cat Power - "Cross Bones Style"


Nine Inch Nails - "March of the Pigs"


Lamb of God - "As The Palaces Burn"


Stone Temple Pilots - "Big Bang Baby"


Mudvayne - "Dig"


The Kills - "No Wow"


See Also: Volume I: Musical Guest On Television Show

Is It Just Me...

...or has the kid from Good Burger developed into quite a potty-mouthed ruffian?

Brokencyde Is Still The Worst MySpace Band; Possibly The Death Of Culture Incarnate

Over a year and a half ago, I first wrote about Brokencyde on these very pages. That post resulted in a spirited and hilarious stream of misspelled, explicit, and confounding comments.

Inciting those replies is my biggest source of pride when it comes to publishing bazookaluca. Even when monumentally misguided, I have to respect the passion and conviction with which those comments were furiously typed.

Comments such as:

Anonymous said...
Brokencyde isn't a shitty band, you fucking old man.

Shut up your fucking mouth .|.

Brokencyde is my crew
And there ain't NOTHING you can do so FUCK YOU!

Margaux said...
Who are you to say what good music is... The are so many people who love Brokencyde, and just because you hate them doesn't mean you should talk shit about them and piss all their fans off. Learn how to keep some things to yourself, no one cares about what you think.

Anonymous said...
FUCK YOU! SERIOUSLY BROKENCYDE IS THE BEST BAND EVER! GO FUCK YOURSELVES! THIS IS MY FAVORITE SONG AND BAND EVER SINCE MY OLDER SISTER INTRODUCED ME TO THEIR MUSIC! SO SHUT UP, LEAVE THEM ALONE,AND GO LISTEN TO MUSIC FROM YOUR TIME PERIOD!(A.K.A.- THE 1920S)
BC13 MOTHER FUCKERS! HAHA!

Anonymous said...
you're so dumb LOL
sad how you old men think you know what good music is

BC13 MOTHERFUCKER

The "BC13 MOTHERFUCKER" tag is in reference to their debut EP, BC13. The "MOTHERFUCKER" is, of course, for emphasis. This appears over and over in the comments.

Other replies were a mix of cloudy rationalizations and pure hostility:

haley said...
brokencyde is great, get over yourselves. just because you have different taste than other people doesn't mean its total shit.
they have fun, and they can make money off of it.
and all of their MILLIONS of fans love them for it.
RANDOM SCREAMS ARE GREAT.
fuck you, go listen to your bull shit music now.
BYEE.

Joey said...
BC13 Assholes!

This band, no matter what you say, is good. That would be like going around and saying the rolling stones arent good, its all personal preference. You don't HAVE to sit there and bash it, I mean, you could just get a fucking life.

BC13 BC13 BC13

Oh, and i forgot
BC13 MOTHERFUCKERS

And these were just confusing:

Anonymous said...
lol...
thats funny...
randome screams are great, and they use them wisely however yes sometimes they can use them a lil much.

Ricky Nigguhhhh said...
wow! how are you gonna hate on BC13!??! they made their own effing genre, which is way better than what you do, sit on your computer judging a band that IS good. Brokencyde 4ever

Anonymous said...
Brokencyde are allright. Freaxxx is actually one of their songs I dont like and the music video is absolutely terrible. Maybe you should try some of their older stuff, its less stupid. But there newer stuff can be so fun to listen to.

That last one was particularly perplexing since the song it references, "Freaxxx" was Brokencyde's debut single, so I'm not sure what "older stuff" he/she was referring to. Considering the band members' ages at the time of its release, I can only assume that he/she must've been referring to recordings from their middle school chorus recitals. If that's the case, I have no doubt their "older stuff" is certainly "less stupid."

The hostility wasn't one-sided though, there was quite a bit directed at Brokencyde and their fans as well:

Anonymous said...
Shit sucks. QQ more emofags.John said... alright lets compare here...........BC13 made there own fucking genre, WHO FUCKING CARES.

Black Sabbath MADE FUCKING HEAVY METAL!!!a genre that is still around today..

Brokencyde made uh CRUCKCORE? a genre that is already starting to die. this band sucks. the worst piece of shit ever, MILEY CYRUS along with the FUCKING JONAS BROTHERS HAS MORE TALENT IN THERE little FINGERS than BROKENCYDE!!! this is not an opinion its a Fucking FACT! they went into the studio and FUCKING FAILED!!!

Anonymous said...
Looks like some faggot fanboy from myspace found this and brought the flies to the shit. Oh well, what can you do. I wouldn't be surprised if it's them trying to defend their own short lived popularity.

Justin Lore said...
this band is fucking awful, i dont care how many people like them. millions of people voted for hitler in the thirties, and that didnt make it any better of an idea. in a year, no one will remember this band.

But Justin clearly got it wrong, because here I am, a year and a half later, writing about Brokencyde on the eve of the release of their new album, Will Never Die (Suburban Noize Records.)

Aside from a bigger budget, the first video off Will Never Die, "Teach Me How To Scream", shows little growth from "Freaxxx"-era BC, they're still a post-ironic, misogynist clusterfuck of a group, miscarried as a result of cursory genre inbreeding.

But please, don't take my word for it, see for yourself; writing about Brokencyde is as arduous as describing the Sistine Chapel—it's best experienced firsthand. That's mainly why I avoided covering Brokencyde after my original post. In part, because it's been done half to death by countless other blogs, but mostly because deconstructing them is essentially pointless.

They do all the work themselves with videos like this:



I couldn't have described that with more depth or insight than you have just gained from watching it yourself.

So, what now? Are the "BC13 MOTHERFUCKER" clones going to come after me again? Am I still just an out of touch old man who should go back to listening to my old-timey music from the 1920s?

Maybe briannapiranha was right when she stated, ever so elegantly:

I think you're the fail here, sir.
-BREE BREE, NIKKUH.

I would indeed bree bree, nikkuh, but I just don't know what that means.

Insert Your Own The Walking Dead Axe/Ask Joke Here

I love this show so much.

New Motto/Mantra/Maxim/Mission Statement

Bet yer ass I will....

The Roman Army Knife

This 3rd Century Roman multi-tool is the precursor to the Swiss Army knife, except it was actually field tested by an attacking army, so even better. One question though, where's the corkscrew?

[Fitzwilliam Museum via Neatorama]