Tuesday, December 28, 2010

My First Indie Short Film, For Your Consideration

I got a new iPhone app called 8mm Vintage Camera and thought I'd try it out on my way home from work. Shot this little short film, edited it, and soundtracked it all in under 2 hours at a cost of $2. Ain't technology great?



[8mm Vintage Camera]

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Five Whiny Emo Anthems I Actually Enjoy

Unless you somehow find yourself within the confines of a Hot Topic, early aughts' aggressive-yet-wussy emo bands are pretty much universally mocked. And rightfully so, most of the time. The semi-goth fashion, the school-age dramatics, the farcical posturing—it's all very laughable, just like adolescence itself.

But what if under all that pretense (and mascara) there's actually a good song dwelling beneath?

Well then, I say you should drop the too-cool-for-school attitude and acknowledge the fact that a good song is a good song is a good song. Give the kids a break, will you? They've been through so much already...

Having said that, some love for shrill screams, dear diary poetry, meat-head guitar riffs, and huge choruses definitely helps here, it's not for the uninclined.

My Chemical Romance - "Helena"
THAT CHORUS?! IT'S HUUUGE!

AFI - "The Leaving Song Pt.II"


Thursday - "Cross Out The Eyes"
THE BRIDGE IS KINDA METAL, RIGHT?

The Used - "Buried Myself Alive"


Dashboard Confessional - "This Bitter Pill"
WHEN HIS VOICE BREAKS?! C'MON!

BONUS: This list was basically an excuse to trot out Emo Bunny once again.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Album Cover Cliché Gallery: Lay Down Your Arms



Best enjoyed while listening to "Soldier of Love" by Arthur Alexander.


Starring:
Spoon - Kill The Moonlight
Low - Trust
Afghan Whigs - Up Next
The Hold Steady - Heaven Is Whenever
Spiritualized - Amazing Grace
Fugazi - The Argument
Pissed Jeans - King Of Jeans
DeVotchka - A Mad And Faithful Telling

Your Winter Solstice Lunar Eclipse Party Mix

Kick this playlist on after 1AM EST tonight and you'll be sure to have a great party welcoming in the Dark Lord to our world. Devil horns!



[NASA]

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Monday, December 13, 2010

The Best of 2010 Megalist: Music, Film, Television, Web & More

**NOTE**
The items within the following lists are not ranked in order of importance or artistic value. Instead, they are listed randomly, or in some cases, as recalled by memory.

While the difference between good art and mediocre drivel is easily discernible, it is the author's opinion that ranking actual art is a random, arbitrary, and highly unscientific process, therefore inappropriate for these purposes. Hopefully, the absence of numbered lists will not frighten or cause excessive discomfort so as to keep the reader from enjoying this post to the fullest.


Additionally, the reader is encouraged to post any omissions, additions, or grave misjudgments on the author's part in the comment section.


Best Albums

Ted Leo & The Pharmacists - The Brutalist Bricks
[Matador]
I've listened to "Bottled Up In Cork" a thousand times and it's still vibrant and uplifting. The Brutalist Bricks is passionate, witty, purposeful—the antithesis to soulless hipsterdom.
[iTunes] [Amazon]

Arcade Fire - The Suburbs
[Merge]
Not as immediately yielding as Funeral or Neon Bible, but just as profound; cementing Arcade Fire within the top echelon of bands to which I suspected they belonged.
[iTunes] [Amazon]


Big Boi - Sir Lucious Left Foot: The Son Of Chico Dusty
[Def Jam]
Big Boi's a crowd-pleaser; he's the Macca to 3$tacks' Lennon. On Sir Lucious, he gave me what I needed
summer bangers and some glorious A-Town repping.
[iTunes] [Amazon]

Grinderman - Grinderman 2
[Anti-]
If one's id is inaccessible, than Nick Cave has found a secret passage to his. On 2, it spews forth into a bubbling cauldron of seething sensation.
"Kitchenette" is what sex should sound like.
[iTunes] [Amazon]


Sleigh Bells - Treats
[Mom+Pop/NEET]
Hottest record of the year, as in, the VU meter needle spends most of its time in the red throughout this one. Single servings of tubescreaming distrobursts.
[iTunes] [Amazon]

Superchunk - Majesty Shredding
[Merge]
A great example of a band sounding exactly as you'd want them to sound 20 years into their career. Indie rock with Chapel Hill as the adjective, for those old enough to know what that means.
[iTunes] [Amazon]

Deerhunter - Halcyon Digest
[4AD]
Better production value than past efforts equals the most accessible album yet, and the most similar to Bradford Cox's alter ego, Atlas Sound. Still dreamy, poppy, spacey
less fuzzy.
[iTunes] [Amazon]

Kanye West - My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy
[Def Jam/Roc-A-Fella]
As long as Ye stays this hungry and this foolish, our lives are that much better for it. Luckily, his compulsive nature leaves him no other option. Hate at your own peril, you'll miss out.
[iTunes] [Amazon]

Julie Christmas - The Bad Wife
[Rising Pulse]
Post-hardcore has gone the way of, well, hardcore, since the mid-90s, but The Bad Wife proves worthy of comparisons to titans from Touch & Go's heyday, while also expounding on the canon.
[iTunes] [Amazon]

Girls - Broken Dreams Club
[True Panther]
Yes, it's an EP, but the cohesiveness and devotion imparted to these 6 songs makes it feel like a proper album, and for the first time, Girls feels like a band. American rock and roll is safe and sound.
[iTunes][Amazon]


The National - High Violet
[4AD]
Their first record that resonated, which is a troubling revelation since it's about the anxiety, disenchantment, and nonfulfillment associated with growing older. In the end, masochism reaps catharsis.
[iTunes] [Amazon]

Liars - Sisterworld
[Mute]
This album, had it been a soundtrack, would have added unnerving tension and creepiness even to Marmaduke. Previously, Liars have used boundary-pushing to provoke, but here it's for emphasis
.
[iTunes] [Amazon]

Janelle Monáe - The ArchAndroid
[Bad Boy/Wondaland Arts Society]
The rare occasion in which eclecticism is perfectly married to ambition, resulting in genre-defying success. A musical spectrum akin to Prince, but with an infinitely more personable oddity at the helm.
[iTunes] [Amazon]

The Tallest Man On Earth - The Wild Hunt
[Dead Oceans]
It's so hard to be captivating with just voice and guitar, but Sweden's Kristian Matsson manages just that with his unique croak, deft finger-picking, and oblique ESL metaphors. Folkmusiker, ja?
[iTunes] [Amazon]

High On Fire - Snakes For The Divine
[Koch Records]
If Lemmy consumed less whiskey, more weed, and fronted the Melvins, High On Fire would have some serious competition. But as of yet, he hasn't, so I'll happily rely on HOF for my Heavy Metal™ dose.
[iTunes] [Amazon]

__________

Great Albums That Missed The Cut

LCD Soundsystem - This Is Happening [DFA/Virgin]
Titus Andronicus - The Monitor [XL]
Cee-Lo Green - The Lady Killer [Elektra]
The Walkmen - Lisbon [Fat Possum]
Women - Public Strain [Jagjaguwar]
Jónsi - Go [XL/Parlophone]
Menomena
- Mines [Barsuk]
Spoon - Transference [Merge]
The Roots - How I Got Over [Def Jam]
Teenage Fanclub - Shadows [Merge]
Gil Scott-Heron - I'm New Here [XL]
Vampire Weekend - Contra [XL]
The Magnetic Fields - Realism [Nonesuch]
The Black Keys - Brothers [Nonesuch]
__________

Good Albums, But Not Up To Par (try harder next time, please)

Gorillaz - Plastic Beach [Parlophone/Virgin]
Autolux - Transit Transit [TBD Records]
Sun Kil Moon - Admiral Fell Promises [Caldo Verde]
M.I.A. - /\/\/\Y/\ [XL/Interscope]
Sufjan Stevens - The Age of Adz [Asthmatic Kitty]
Band of Horses - Infinite Arms [Sub Pop]
MGMT - Congratulations [Columbia]
Broken Social Scene - Forgiveness Rock Record [Arts & Crafts]
Kid Cudi - Man On The Moon II: The Legend of Mr. Rager [Universal Motown]
Here We Go Magic - Pigeons [Secretly Canadian]
__________

Albums That Would Be On This Year's List, Except They Were Already On Last Year's List Because That Is When They Leaked

Yeasayer - Odd Blood [Secretly Canadian]
Danger Mouse & Sparklehorse - Dark Night of the Soul [Capitol]
__________

Best Reissues

David Bowie - Station To Station [Virgin]
Weezer - Pinkerton [Geffen]
Nine Inch Nails - Pretty Hate Machine [Universal]
The Cure - Disintegration [Rhino]
Morrissey - Bona Drag [EMI]
Galaxie 500 - On Fire [Domino]
The Stooges - Raw Power [Sony Legacy]
Queens of the Stone Age - Rated R [Interscope]
The Rolling Stones - Exile On Main Street [Universal]
The Grateful Dead - American Beauty [Rhino]
Spiritualized - Ladies And Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space [Plain]
Refused - The Shape Of Punk To Come: A Chimerical Bombination In 12 Bursts [Epitath]
__________

Best Compilations

Pavement - Quarantine The Past [Matador]
Bruce Springsteen - The Promise [Columbia/Sony]
Orange Juice - Coals To Newcastle [Domino]
Bob Dylan - The Witmark Demos: 1962-1964 [Columbia]
Elliott Smith - An Introduction To... [Kill Rock Stars]
Various Artists - Deutsche Elektronische [Soul Jazz]
Various Artists - Matador At 21 [Matador]
__________

Best Soundtracks

Trent Reznor & Atticus Finch - The Social Network [Null]
Clint Mansell - Black Swan [Sony Masterworks]
Hans Zimmer - Inception [WaterTower Music]
Various Artists - Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World [ABKCO]
Various Artists - The Kids Are All Right [Lakeshore]
Daft Punk - TRON: Legacy [Walt Disney]

__________

Best Live Albums

David Bazan - Live At Electrical Audio [+1]
Liars - Live [Mute]
Mono - Holy Ground: NYC Live with the Wordless Music Orchestra [Temporary Residence]
Low - Live At Eindhoven [Self Released]
Jónsi - Go Live [Self Released]

__________

Metal Albums You Are In No Way Ready For And Should Stay Away From At All Costs

The Dillinger Escape Plan - Option Paralysis [Season of Mist]
Shining - Blackjazz [Indie Recordings/Red]
Black Breath - Heavy Breathing [Southern Lord]
Agalloch - Marrow of the Spirit [Profound Lore]
Black Tusk - Taste The Sin [Relapse]


__________

Most Disproportionate Hype To Quality Ratio (hype > quality)

Best Coast - Crazy For You [Mexican Summer]
Drake - Thank Me Later [Aspire/Cash Money/Young Money]
Beach House
- Teen Dream [Sub Pop]
Crystal Castles - Crystal Castles [Motown/Universal]
Die Antwoord - $O$ [Cherrytree/Interscope]
Wavves - King of the Beach [Fat Possum]
Warpaint - The Fool [Rough Trade]
__________

Weirdest Album Mike Patton Made This Year

Mike Patton - Mondo Cane [Ipecac]

Covers of 1950-60's-era Italian pop songs? With a 65-piece orchestra?! Only with Mike Patton does this seem to make perfect sense.


___________
Best Comedy Albums

Kyle Kinane - Death of the Party [AST Records]
Reggie Watts
- Why Shit So Crazy?! [Comedy Central]
David Cross
- Bigger and Blackerer [Sub Pop]
Hannibal Buress
- My Name Is Hannibal [Stand Up!]
Doug Benson
- Hypocritical Oaf [Comedy Central]
Bill Hicks
- The Essential Collection [Rikodisc]

__________

Worst Album

Brokencyde - Will Never Die [Suburban Noize Records]

Winning two years in a row, these agents of schlock are pretty much assured to rule this category every year they release a long-player of post-ironic, misogynist clusterfucks posing as songs.


__________

Best Album Cover

Klaxons - Surfing The Void [Polydor]








__________

Worst Album Covers



Click on the pics for a closer look. At your own risk, of course.
__________

Most Prevalent Trend In Album Cover Art


2010 was definitely the year of the woman-as-android. Read into it what you please (desolation, objectification, augmentation, hollowness, absence of humanity, narcissism, exploitation, Robocop-fetishism, etc.)
__________

Best Reminder That People Really Only Like What They Already Know

Girl Talk - All Day [Illegal Art]

This dude sells out concert halls at around 50 bucks a pop. It's mash-ups. We're talking mash-ups. Mash-ups?! Take some time to think about what you're doing, people.

__________

Best Singles


If the Grooveshark Playlist is wonky (which it is known to be), you can also listen to it here.
__________

Best Song To Play Before Beating Someone's Ass

"Hard In The Paint" by Waka Flocka Flame
__________

Funniest Line Sung By Jesse McCartney And T-Pain

Parlez Vous Francais?, in the song "Body Language", it gets me every time.
__________

Best (Only) Near Femme Song I Recorded This Year


__________

Songs I Hope I Never Hear Again

Ke$ha - "Tik Tok"
Train - "Hey, Soul Sister"
Justin Bieber - "Baby"
Soulja Boy Tell'em - "Pretty Boy Swag"
Brokencyde - "Teach Me How To Scream"
Shakira - "Waka Waka (This Time For Africa)"
Black Eyed Peas - All of 'em.
__________

Guilty Pleasures

Katy Perry - "Teenage Dream" - In Italy, scanning the radio was so bad that I actually looked forward to hearing this song. Also, "California Gurls."
Lady Gaga - "Bad Romance" - I actually don't feel guilty about this one at all. Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah...
__________

Worst Band Name

Suspicious Cheese Lords
__________

Best Music Videos (with accompanying playlist*)


*watch on YouTube to see all the videos, or follow the links below to the ones that could not be embedded

OK Go - "This Too Shall Pass" [dir. James Frost]
Ted Leo & the Pharmacists - "Bottled Up In Cork" [dir. Tom Scharpling]
Janelle Monáe - "Tightrope" [dir. Wendy Morgan]
Arcade Fire - "The Suburbs" [dir. Spike Jonze]
Grinderman - "Heathen Child" [dir. John Hilcoat]
Big Boi - "Shutterbugg" [dir. Chris Robinson]
Hollerado - "Americanarama" [dir. Greg Jardin]
Erykah Badu - "Window Seat" [dir. Chike]
Flying Lotus - "Kill Your Co-Workers" [dir. Mike Winkelmann]
Kanye West - "Runaway" [dir. Kanye West]
Liars - "Scissors" [dir. Andy Bruntel]
__________

Biggest Hot Messes Posing As Videos

Insane Clown Posse - "Miracles" [dir. Paul Andresen]
Die Antwoord - "Enter The Ninja" [dir. Kyle Thrash]
Lady Gaga - "Telephone (feat. Beyonce)" [dir. Jonas Åkerlund]
Katy Perry - "California Gurls" [dir. Mathew Cullen]
__________

Most Innovative Use Of Multimedia In A Music Video

Arcade Fire - "The Wilderness Downtown*" [dir. Chris Milk] *best viewed w/ Google Chrome
Sour - "Mirror*" *best viewed w/ Google Chrome and Safari
__________

Best Award Acceptance Speech

Fever Ray's Karin Andersson melts my face. And her own.

__________

Best Concerts

Not many shows this year; I'm slipping, I know, but I liked these.

Pavement with Times New Viking
Arcade Fire with Spoon
The National with Owen Pallett
The Tallest Man On Earth
Jimmy Eat World


__________

Best Musical Feuds

Kings Of Leon Vs. Pigeon Poop
Taylor Swift Vs. Kanye West
Lil' Kim Vs. Nicki Minaj
Foxy Brown Vs. Nicki Minaj
50 Cent Vs. Twitter
M.I.A. Vs. The New York Times
Billy Corgan Vs. Pavement
Lady Gaga Vs. Christina Aguilera
Lady Gaga Vs. Jerry Seinfeld
Ian Astbury Vs. Dave Grohl
John Mayer Vs. John Mayer's Mouth


I hardly saw any films in the theater in 2010, maybe not even ten. Do I say this every year? Why do I even have this category? Ah, screw it, I'll try to make it interesting.

Best Films I Actually Saw

Inception
Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World
Shutter Island
Kick-Ass
Up In The Air (Actually came out in late December '09, but I saw it in February)

__________

Films That Might Have Been On The Previous List Had I Actually Seen Them

Exit Through The Gift Shop
Get Low
127 Hours
The Social Network

Greenberg
The Town
MacGruber
Cyrus


__________

Films You've Never Heard Of That Would Be On My List If I Were An Annoying Film Student

Everyone Else
Bluebeard
Dogtooth
Socialism
The Portuguese Nun
White Material
The Robber
Marwencol
The Father Of My Children
The Oath
__________

Films That Were Actually A Lot Of Fun To See At The Theater

Predators
Jackass 3D


__________
Film That Kyle Made Me Watch Because He Was High And I Didn't Know Any Better

Resident Evil: Afterlife 3D




__________

Most Ridiculous Titles For A Film

Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'hoole
Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps


__________
Films That Will Be Released After This List But Before 2011

Tron: Legacy
True Grit

Somewhere


__________

Creepiest Use Of A Pun And Accompanying Picture For A Children's Film

Yogi Bear - Great Things Come In Bears

Creeepy...















Best Television Programs

The Walking Dead [AMC]
Mad Men [AMC]
Breaking Bad [AMC]
30 Rock [NBC]
Community [NBC]
Parks And Recreation [NBC]
Modern Family [ABC]
Dexter [Showtime]
Party Down [Starz]
The Pacific [HBO]
Louie [FX]
It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia [FX]
The Venture Bros. [Cartoon Network]
Pardon The Interruption
[ESPN]
Attack of the Show [G4]
__________
Series Currently Occupying Loads Of Space Unwatched On My DVR

Boardwalk Empire [HBO]
Rubicon [AMC]
Kids In The Hall: Death Comes To Town [CBC/IFC]
Dead Set [E4/IFC]


__________

Best Stretch Of Late Night Talk Shows

The Tonight Show With Conan O'Brien [NBC] - January 18th-22nd

Conan's last week of shows on NBC were really a testament to his talent and Jeff Zucker's ineptitude as head of NBC. This week of shows helped generate the public and professional support that would land Coco on TBS.
__________

Best Opening Credits Song


__________

Best Advertisement




Best of the Web (Besides BAZOOKALUCA)

The A.V. Club
Matthew Yglesias
The Big Picture
Best Week Ever
Boing Boing
The Onion
Lifehacker
Five Thirty Eight
With Leather
Wired
Gizmodo
Fear Of Arthropods
Idolator
Jalopnik
Stereogum
Jezebel
Post Secret
Jonathan Chait
Hipster Runoff
fourfour
Deadspin
Gawker
Daily Dish
Pitchfork
Slate Magazine
Warming Glow
The Superficial
__________

Best Podcasts (Besides The BAZOOKALUCA Podcast)

WTF with Marc Maron [iTunes]
The Bugle [iTunes]
The Pod F. Tompkast [iTunes]
Comedy Death Ray [iTunes]
The Best Show On WFMU [iTunes]
Doug Loves Movies [iTunes]
The BS Report [iTunes]
The Nerdist [iTunes]
Sklarbro Country [iTunes]
SModcast [iTunes]
Superego [iTunes]
__________

Best People To Follow On Twitter (besides @bazookaluca)

Steven Weber - @TheStevenWeber
Kyle Kinane - @kylekinane
Patton Oswalt - @pattonoswalt
Andrew WK - @AndrewWK
Paul F. Tompkins - @PFTompkins
Kelly Oxford - @kellyoxford
Conan O'Brien - @conanobrien
Eddie Pepitone - @eddiepepitone
Matt Yglesias - @mattyglesias
Steve Martin - @SteveMartinToGo
Shalewa Sharpe - @silkyjumbo
James Urbaniak - @JamesUrbaniak
The Batman - @God_Damn_Batman
Andi Shehnouraee - @andishehnouraee
__________

Favorite BAZOOKALUCA Posts

"Liking Something Does Not Entitle You Ownership Of It"
"Google Street View Might Be The World's Most Comprehensive Multimedia Art Project"
"Brokencyde Is Still The Worst Myspace Band, Possibly The Death Of Culture Incarnate"
"A Near Femme Sound Experiment: Weird Is Easy, Interesting Is Hard"
"Car Porn: The Sexiest Classic Sports Cars"
"Four Effin' Effs For Friday"
"Music Video Cliche Theatre"
"Heavy Metal Animals
"
__________

Cutest Thing I Saw On The Internet


2010: The Year of the Corgi
__________

Best Bus Fight


__________

Best YouTube Video That Requires Zero Context


I swear, that dude has to be Jim Breuer.
__________

Best/Worst Memes





__________

Best Artistic Depiction Of My Life
















__________

Best Animated GIFS






Celebrity Girlfriends

Alison Brie

Between her indelible roles in Mad Men and Community, her marvelous guest-hosting spots on AOTS, and the revealing, candid nature of her essay for Nerve, Alison cemented her place on this list. Adorbs.


Aubrey Plaza

She played a slouch and a crabby bemoaner on Parks and Recreation and Scott Pilgim Vs. The World this year, but always endearingly so, if such a feat can be accomplished.



Ciara

Ciara tried so hard to get on this list this year (mostly by working it fiercely in video after video after video) that I'd be a fool not to give her a well-earned spot. Let it be known that hard work gets rewarded around here.




Lea Michelle

Having never seen a single episode of Glee, I'm solely basing this on her much-publicized GQ spread. But man, it's enough.


__________

Last Year's Celebrity Girlfriends That I'm Still Not Quite Over

Christina Hendricks & Katy Perry

__________

Words I Heard Too Much This Year (2010 in a snapshot)

Chatroulette » Topkill » Twitter » O'Donnell » Ground Zero Mosque » Coco » Junk Shot » Kardashian » Kraken » Oil Spill » Android » Static Kill » Guetta » Tiger » Haiti » The Situation » Palin » Chilean Miners » Top Hat » Vuvuzela » Bieber » iPad » Wikileaks » Favre » BP » Bedbugs » Zuckerberg » Paul The Octopus » Locavore » Cap-And-Trade » Catfish » LeBron » Glee » Tea Party
__________

Word I Didn't Hear Enough This Year

Eyjafjallajökull
__________

Best Apps For The Commute To/From Work

Plants Vs. Zombies
Angry Birds





__________

Best Place To Use The Hipstamatic Camera App

On top of a mountain in Valle D'Aosta, Italy.
__________

Best Reason To Keep Publishing BAZOOKALUCA

Spending two weeks in December working on a Best Of The Year Megalist.


Haven't had enough?

See also: 2004, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009

As always, thanks for reading. You're the best.

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