Mazinga, Goldrake, Jeeg, And Other Japanese Super Robots From My (Italian) Youth

There was no Sesame Street for me growing up in Italy. I'm guessing this is because Big Bird translates literally into Uccello Grande, which is slang for "Big Dick", and who wants to learn anything from a walking, eight-foot-tall dick joke? Not me, that's for sure.

There were, however, a slew of Japanese cartoons that managed to keep my eyes on the television long enough for my mother to get stuff done around the house. Around the late 70s to early 80s especially, there was a huge influx of Japanese Super Robot anime to Italian television.

This genre is characterized by, as some nerd on Wikipedia puts it:

a giant robot, or mecha, with an arsenal of fantastic super-powered weapons... sometimes transformable or combined from two or more robots and/or vehicles usually piloted by young, daring heroes, and often shrouded by mystical or legendary origins... The Super Robot anime shows are usually named after the title robot, and tend to use a "monster of the week" format in that the villains introduce a single antagonist at the beginning of the episode that the heroes usually defeat by its end. Antagonists tended to come from either outer space or ancient civilizations... Many foes employed robot or cyborg henchmen, whom they often sent against the heroes in their robot. The goals of these antagonists varied, although many were megalomaniacal or outright genocidal in their ambitions.

The best-known example of this genre to American viewers is the 1981 cartoon, originally called Beast King GoLion in Japan, that was dubbed and edited in the mid-8os as Voltron to become a hit series and pop-culture icon in the States.

But before there was Voltron, there were oodles of other cool Super Robot series around—in fact, over 60 mecha shows were created in Japan between 1972 and 1988. These led the way for shows like Transformers, Mobile Suit Gundam, Neon Genesis Evangelion, and even live action Super Sentai shows like Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.

While most of the Super Robot shows were practically interchangeable, from their storylines down to their characters, each one managed to have at least a few memorable characteristics that have stuck with me throughout the years. I've listed some of my favorite Super Robot animes from the era, complete with their obligatory Italian-dubbed theme songs, below.

Enjoy:

Mazinga (aka Mazinger Z; Tranzor Z)

Original Run: 1972-74 (92 Episodes)

Legacy: The O.G. of Super Robot shows, Mazinga was the mold around which the genre was shaped.

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Tekkaman: Il Cavaliere Dello Spazio (aka Uchu No Kishi Tekkaman)

Original Run: 1975 (26 Episodes)

Legacy: Tekkaman was the first Super Robot that was a humanoid instead of just a big machine piloted by a human. However, this did not change the fact that, even at an early age, it was confounding to me that a civilization that possessed the technology to build giant space robots, would still choose to send them into battle wielding swords, instead of cannons, or lasers, or smart bombs, or anything remotely more sophisticated than a fucking sword.

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Goldrake (aka UFO Robot Gredinzer)

Original Run: 1975-77 (74 Episodes)

Legacy: Probably the most iconic Super Robot show that was ever shown in Italy, Goldrake was wildly popular. In fact, I still have my diecast toy figure from the late 70s; it's perhaps the only toy I've hung on to after all these years. Goldrake was also the coolest looking Super Robot, there was something art deco about its lines that really appealed to me.

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Jeeg: Robot D'Acciaio (aka Kotetsu Jeeg)

Original Run: 1975-77 (46 Episodes)

Legacy: The opening theme song is by far my favorite from the period. Even though it's dubbed in Italian, the phrasing is totally Japanese and it's fun to hear the singer try to match all the wild inflections. As a child, I made up my own gibberish version of the lyrics which I would sing ad nauseam to amuse/annoy my sister.

*Starting at 0:31 in the video, sing along: "Yak bau! Niraianisu. Yak bau! Niraianisu..."

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Daitarn 3 (aka Muteki Kujin Daitan 3)

Original Run: 1978-79 (40 Episodes)

Legacy: The 3 in Daitarn's name is derived from the three parts that make up the Super Robot. This tranforming and conjoining aspect was later borrowed by iconic shows like Voltron and Transformers.

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Gordian (aka Toshi Gardian)

Original Run: 1979-81 (73 Episodes)

Legacy: Gordian took the matryoshka (or Russian nesting dolls) approach to how the Super Robot would transform. The pilot would get into three progressively larger robotic body suits that eventually made up the largest robot, Garbin. They could have probably done away with the smaller suits and saved some time.

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Trider G7 (aka Muteki Robotoraida G7)

Original Run: 1980-81 (50 Episodes)

Legacy: I actually don't remember anything about this show except for the opening theme. Seriously, these shows were pretty much all the same.

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Baldios: Il Guerriero Dello Spazio (aka Uchu Senshi Barudiosu)

Original Run: 1980-81 (32 Episodes)

Legacy: This show had the most depressing ending to it than any other Super Robot series. Spoiler alert: the bad guys destroy Earth by triggering a giant Tsunami that floods the planet, killing everyone. The heroes lose, the end. That's some heavy shit for a child to deal with, believe me.

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Voltron (aka Beast King GoLion)

Original Run: 1981-82 (52 Episodes)

Legacy: Well, this one is easy. By far, the most popular Super Robot exported to America from Japan ever. They're even making a big budget live-action Hollywood movie about it, for chrissakes. Look for it in 2011 to possibly suck even more than Transformers and GI Joe.

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Stay tuned for a second instalment featuring non-Super-Robot-related Japanese cartoons from my youth, such as Devilman, Kenshiro, Knights of the Zodiac, and Tigerman.

Summer Blockbuster Movie Marathon Retrospective Extravaganza Netflix Festival!

With Adrienne out of the country I've been able to shift our communal Netflix queue to all the big, dumb, lowest common denominator movies that I've missed over the last couple of years. It's not that Adrienne doesn't share my love for movies of questionable taste, but for some reason she wasn't interested in seeing any of these iffy, big budget releases with me.

Plus, when she's in control of the queue we end up getting twelve depressing documentaries in a row about the plight of goat herders in Bangladesh and one can only take so much human suffering before they have to turn to mindless tales of transforming robots or 300 ft. monsters.

Here's my thoughts on the first batch of recent viewings:

Transformers - I was looking for a straight-up, no plot, all action movie with explosions and big fucking robots that transformed into cars and shit, but all I found was a pastiche of studio production notes smothering an already devitalized premise.

I can hear the studio executives now:

Can we make at least one of the Autobots more, you know, "street"?

Optimus Prime should have some flames painted on his sides to be more extreme; the kids like extreme. . .

I know that Bumblebee was a VW in the cartoon, but we got all this money from Chevy to pimp out their new Camaro, so. . .

We have to work a young, attractive girl who happens to be a computer hacker/nerd in the plot, it tested well with 18-30 year old males. . .

That's the downfall of most of these big budget flicks, too many people with no clue having inputs on the production because they shelled out the big bucks.

I stopped paying attention about halfway through. I occasionally raised my head from behind my laptop to see what was going on, but I rarely kept watching for more than a few minutes at a time. It was actually pretty tedious to make through and I kept waiting for it to end. The dialogue was atrocious and there was way too many failed attempts at comedy.

I should have expected it from a Michael Bay movie, but I always seem to forget how awful he truly is since I only see one of his movies every three years or so. The overblown, turgid excess that plagues Hollywood suits him to a tee (and it's also what made him a millionaire, by the way, so take notes kids).

I was also reminded how crappy of a storyline the original cartoon had and it amazed me that it got made into a movie at all. I guess they were banking on no one actually remembering the plot from when they were kids. I certainly didn't, although I'm sure it didn't help that I watched the original cartoons in Italy, dubbed in Italian. Oh, and I was five years old and didn't really yearn for good character and plot development quite just yet.

The story goes something like this: rival shape-shifting robot gangs from outer space fight over some alien substance in order to rebuild something or other to regain control of their planet or the universe or something. Oh, and sexy, sweaty human teenagers get in on the action somewhere along the line. And Marines. And secret government agencies. And there's special glasses that see secret shit. And lots of product placement.

It was really a big waste of time and no one should have to watch it for any reason whatsoever. So, of course, the sequel will be out next year and it will certainly make a billion dollars on opening weekend.

Cloverfield - I had no expectations for this Godzilla-inspired, cinéma réalité, internet hype-machine of a movie, and that's probably why I enjoyed it so much.

Now, I must preface my review by saying that I love any story involving catastrophic events that force characters to rely on basic survival skills to make it through alive. Love that shit. It's why I liked Aliens, Predator, 28 Days Later, Dawn of the Dead, Children of Men, The Descent and countless others. I think we all unconsciously wish to be rocked out of our daily grinds by a cataclysmic, society-breaking event or plague that forces us to prioritize down to our basic survival skills. It's an innate primal instinct that will always reside in our reptilian brain and it's what really drives my interest in those movies; I fully embrace the survival mentality.

And personally, I can't wait for the day that we're all going to be pushed back to our original scavenging existence. Unfortunately, most of you won't make it, but it's a necessary sacrifice and maybe you should have been a little more keen on your personal fitness and vestigial wit.

You think I go running five days a week for fun? I'm just keeping prepared. I treat Survivorman and Man vs. Wild as instructional videos. And no matter where I go, I've always got an escape route worked out in my head, just in case. When the shit hits the fan, my friends, I'm gonna be okay. Will you?

The movie's premise is simple enough and doesn't try to do anything but present you with a first row seat to some really disastrous events caused by a 30 story high monster rampaging through the streets of New York City. There's no backstory, no intricate explanation on the monster's origins or how to defeat it or a convenient resolution. Just the fun stuff. I could have done away with the film's first fifteen minutes or so of character setup and romantic conflict and dove right in the destruction, but that's just me being a bit nitpicky.

The visuals are great. They're at times reminiscent of the brothers Jules and Gedeon Naudet documentary, 9/11, which was a powerful first person video witness account of the Twin Towers collapsing. I'm sure it was referenced to make the shots realistic, especially for documenting the chaos at the beginning of the onslaught. The shaky camera work made me glad that I saw it on my television instead of a nausea-inducing big screen, but it really wasn't too bad.

The open ended concept makes this movie tailor-made for a sequel documenting a different point of view on the events and I'm sure we'll see it soon enough since the movie was a success. Let's hope they don't take it overboard though.

Overall, it was entertaining and it satisfied my subverse hunger for wreckage and fulfilled my apocalyptic fantasies. If only it were true.

I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry - I haven't been interested in an Adam Sandler production since Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore but this one got my attention because the screenplay was written by Alexander Payne who also wrote and directed Election and Sideways, two movies I liked very much.

This one didn't really live up to his earlier work. I didn't hate it or anything. It was fine and had a few chuckles here and there, but overall it was stuck between a gag-filled farce and a sentimental morality tale, never fully committing to either and therefore detrimental to both.

A definite redeeming factor, if I'm allowed to regress to a typical, one-dimensional male interest, is Jessica Biel's stunning body that's featured numerously throughout the flick. She is pretty magnificent. I'm a fan.

Semi-Pro - All I can say about this one is that Will Ferrell needs some realigning of his comedic talents. He walks a very fine line. I have to admit that both Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy and Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby were pretty funny and I've probably quoted them both numerous times, but Blades of Glory and Semi-Pro were quite abysmal in comparison.

I know that it's pointless to treat these films individually since they're pretty much all about one ridiculous character existing in different settings, but I think some were executed with more attention and care than others. I guess it comes down to the script (if they actually stick to one) and it's clear that the more recent examples are lacking in this department.

Comedy is hard and requires diligence and loads of trial and error. Will Ferrell should take the time to choose his projects more wisely, although I suspect he'll keep cranking them out as fast as he can until people stop watching them. Hey, I'll probably see Step Brothers at some point this year. You win again, Ferrell. You win again.


That's enough for now, I've gone on a bit too much. Here's to hoping that Hot Rod, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, Spider-Man 3, Feast and Super High Me will be equally as discussion rousing! They're next on the queue. I'll chime in with my thoughts if I deem it necessary.