Yet more evidence that there is no god, nor any justice in the world, presented itself this week as reports came out that Brazilian supermodel and bazookaluca celebrity girlfriend, Adriana Lima, secretly wed perennial NBA bench-warmer, Marko Jarić (a.k.a. Player To Be Named Later) on Valentine's Day.
Besides being a clear sign from Adriana that our pretend relationship is over (she could have at least called, or even texted me... it hurts so bad to have to hear it from the tabloids), this union is wrong on many, many, many levels.
First of all, look at her, in all of her smokey, über-hotness:
Now look at his goofy ass pretending to play defense:
There's an obvious disproportion of beauty and talent within this matrimonial union. She's one of the top paid underwear models on earth (a feat that requires oodles of talent, I'm sure.) He , on the other hand, averages 1.7 points and 1 rebound per game for one of the worst teams in the league and is probably mere days from being cut (as in, fired, not "cut" cut, although, I do carry a knife on me...)
And this might just be pure speculation on my part, but I think there's now enough visual evidence to prove once and for all that he's one of the Goons from Plunder Island in the Popeye cartoons:
Sure, you might have fooled the world's hottest girl and three NBA team (as well as three other European teams —this guy has been involved in more trades than the NASDAQ) into thinking you're some sort of basketball player, but I'm onto you, Marko.
Watch it.
Besides being a clear sign from Adriana that our pretend relationship is over (she could have at least called, or even texted me... it hurts so bad to have to hear it from the tabloids), this union is wrong on many, many, many levels.
First of all, look at her, in all of her smokey, über-hotness:
Now look at his goofy ass pretending to play defense:
There's an obvious disproportion of beauty and talent within this matrimonial union. She's one of the top paid underwear models on earth (a feat that requires oodles of talent, I'm sure.) He , on the other hand, averages 1.7 points and 1 rebound per game for one of the worst teams in the league and is probably mere days from being cut (as in, fired, not "cut" cut, although, I do carry a knife on me...)And this might just be pure speculation on my part, but I think there's now enough visual evidence to prove once and for all that he's one of the Goons from Plunder Island in the Popeye cartoons:
Sure, you might have fooled the world's hottest girl and three NBA team (as well as three other European teams —this guy has been involved in more trades than the NASDAQ) into thinking you're some sort of basketball player, but I'm onto you, Marko.Watch it.
if Adriana Lima and Marko have kids, lets hope they get HER eyes
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