I Personally Believe That This Is What Miss South Carolina Was Trying To Warn Us About

If you don't know what's wrong with this map, you are probably qualified to work for Fox News.

How the fuck does this happen? Are they drawing their maps from scratch every time they need a graphic? Maybe they are trying to distance themselves from their role in selling the Iraq War by pretending Iraq doesn't even exist.

Either way, they need to look into hiring some fact-checkers. Ha! Fox News with fact-checkers... I made a funny.

Brooke Hogan Makes My Dreams Come True

A couple of months back I wrote about Brooke Hogan's rumored artwork for her new album, The Redemption, with guarded hesitation. Surly, I thought, cover art this bad was too good to be true. As much as I wanted it to exist, it had to be a publicity stunt to get people talking about the album. It just had to be.

But sure enough, when the release date of July 21th came around, I was delighted to see that the cover remained untouched (as seen here), securing its official place as one of the worst album covers of all time.

Sometimes dreams do come true.

Time For A New Religion? Here's A Quick Cheat Sheet

According to this chart, Buddhism is looking like the most reasonable option followed closely by Judaism. Roman Catholicism, not so much.

I still prefer being a free agent, where all of these things are not only allowed, but encouraged (especially if you're doing more than one at a time.)

Wasted Chinese Youth Goes Up In Smoke

[Courtesy of BoingBoing]

Pearl Jam Streams New Single, "The Fixer"

Pearl Jam started streaming "The Fixer" on their MySpace page today. It's the first single off of their new album, Backspacer, due out on September 20th. They previously played a new song, "Got Some", on the first episode of the Tonight Show With Conan O'Brien.

I'm willing to bet that "The Fixer" is an Eddie Vedder composition since the song is pure power-pop and his love for the genre is well documented. It sounds like a pleasant amalgam of Cheap Trick and the La's.

Overall, a fun song. Can't wait for this record.

When the inevitable YouTube pull-down of the song happens, you can also listen to it on their MySpace page.

Is Type O Negative Benefiting From The Great Vampire Fever Of 2009?

It's no secret that vampires are back in a big way with the success of Twilight and True Blood. But does this increased interest translate to vampire-friendly bands like goth-metal icons Type O Negative?

I hope so.

As we all know, the greatest vampire anthem of all time is Bauhaus' "Bela Lugosi's Dead", hands down (see below). But Type O Negative's "Black No. 1 (Little Miss Scare-All)" deserves a mention.

While they were about as scary (and hokey) as a Luna Park House of Horrors ride, they surprisingly managed to score a platinum album out of 1993's Bloody Kisses, thanks in no small part to "Black No.1" being the first single.

Peter Steele sang a deep baritone (with just a hint of a Dracula accent) and played a bass that hung so low from a heavy-gauge chain around his shoulder that it made him hunch over. His towering 6'6" onstage presence helped sell the look and the sound of the band (an equal mix of the Misfits, Black Sabbath and the Addams Family theme song) to droves of black-fingernail-polish-loving teenagers as well as more traditional metal heads.

If there was any justice, the song would find its way onto some Twilight soundtrack and the band would gain a whole new generation of followers, but alas, those spots have so far only gone to bland humdrums like Paramore and Linkin Park.

Too bad. Hokey goth-metal has never sounded so good:

Bonus:

Michael Jackson's Ghost Returns In Various Apparitions, Ctd.

To continue on last week's post, here's Michael Jackson making an appearance just 18 hours after his passing as a reflection of clouds on the hood of a Rover 200 in the United Kingdom. I kind of smell shenanigans on this one, but thought it was worth reporting.

Shamon.

Why So Serious?

Artist: Zina Saunders, "Alaskan Roulette," July 4, 2009.